Approach Trio

Three partners who cycle through roles. A and B stand across the room from each other. C observes from the side. A wants to touch B and attempts to walk over to B and touch B. B observes internally and whenever there is a shift, an arising tension, a question in the mind, B tells A to stop. A stops. B waits until that tension or thought or holding of breath dissolves and then tells A to continue until another reaction comes up and repeating the “stop”. B is not obliged to let A touch her in the time frame. If A touches B, start over, with B recalibrating and getting more picky about subtle reactions.

After the time frame (3 to 5 minutes) the three come together to talk about what they observed and then rotate roles.

Notes: Ideally A does not want to trigger reaction in B and is studying what in their approach triggers reaction, ideally anticipating reaction and shifting before the “stop” comes. The point of the exercise is not for B to feel what they “fundamentally” feel (if such a thing exists), but to notice triggered tensions, which can be thought of as the “no” of some subvoice, some subtly manifesting fear. Often, these are below the level of consciousness, suppressed, and this is the point, so they may be unfelt at first. Assume that they will manifest and see. It might be as subtle as a shifting of breath or weight in the feet. These subtle “no”s may be just that… very small insignificant fears, in which case it is just good to notice them and register the complexity of reaction. They may also be big ones that are suppressed, in which case more interesting to unravel and explore. It is open what you choose to do with the awareness later.

As the Approacher, one can move at a speed that does not allow the partner time to register subtle reactions. Some people are very good at this kind of barreling through others’ boundaries. This can be interesting to try, just to see that it can happen, but it is not the center of the exploration’s point. We do want B to be able to register their reactions.